Two and a Half Channels...

OK, so most people who know me, know that I have only had 2½ channels for years. One that always comes in great, one that comes in pretty good most of the time and one that comes in sporadically at best. You know, on a cloudy day, if I open the front door and hold onto the doorknob while touching the antenna, I can almost tell an elbow from a knee. Yeah, that's the half.

Well, unless you live under a rock or in a cave, you can't help but know that television is going all digital. It was supposed to happen on the 17th of February but, thankfully, I got a reprieve from the President. 

Now, I have a 19 year old TV with a cheap rabbit ears antenna and an almost equally old VCR. I already had to buy a box to allow me to hook up a DVD player a few years ago. 

It is no secret that I am a procrastinator but early on I decided to send off for the coupon offered by the government to offset the cost of the digital converter. I got them in the mail but it became a contest of which would happen first, the DTV switch or my poor old TV fritzing out. I decided odds were against my TV. 

Yet, here I sit, in front of my same old television with an extension until June before the switch, two expired coupons and 1½ channels. As of yesterday, the one, 'pretty good most of the time' channel didn't work. I have yet to ascertain if it is the 'switch' or just natural causes. 

I could take this opportunity to focus more on friends, family, hobbies, outdoors or my blog but, come on...

My 'FRIENDS' were on the channel I lost.

My family is 2 hours away - unless you count HOUSE - also on the channel I lost.

My hobbies are TV and computers.

Outdoors - meh.

So here I am, blogging for my fans... both of them - Hi, mom.

I guess, I'm finally gonna have to get cable. 

Could this be the end of the blog...  of sleep?

What will I do when the President speaks and I have a choice?

What will I do on Sundays when I have choices other than church and golf?

Stay Tuned.

The Perfect Woman

I don't believe in the perfect woman. I don't believe she exists and if she did she certainly wouldn't waste her time on the likes of me (or any guy I know). Maybe Clooney would have a chance. 

I think that there are a lot of good women, a lot of gorgeous women, plenty of sexy women, smart women, funny women, even a few that might have more than one of those qualities.

I just read an article that announced that in a poll of nearly 2,000 film fans, the late Audrey Hepburn took first place over Angelina Jolie, Kiera Knightley and Halle Berry, the 2nd, 3rd and 4th favorites respectively. 

Now only a fool would argue the sexuality of Angelina Jolie, or the sweet, innocent looks of Kiera Knightley, and certainly Halle Berry is gorgeous. So why is it that a woman, dead for 16 years can displace these young, popular stars as Ultimate Screen Beauty? That is hard to say with precision. She was definitely beautiful but with an elegance and grace that is now extinct from our stars, and at the very least, endangered in women in general. It was bound to happen; you can't fight for change and gender equality without giving up some of the things that make you different. 

Another word you don't hear much these days - demure. Surely it is hard to balance fame and throngs of devoted fans with a reserved modesty but as a shy guy, I find the trait alluring. I may be an old-fashioned dork but things have changed and many are not progressions. I love the female form as much as any guy but honestly, Victoria has no secrets left. I've never seen a picture of Audrey Hepburn getting out of her limo sans panties. 

I'm not trying to say that she was perfect (remember, I don't believe). I just never saw her at an awards show so stoned she couldn't speak or wearing a see-thru dress with nothing but God-given talents underneath. She was a classy lady. We could use a few more.

The Spin Cycle

So I was doing laundry and watching as the washer filled and started washing and I began to notice an eerie similarity to my life. You know, going through the same motions over and over and getting no where, while occasionally, someone dumps a load on me. The agitation, the roiling, the feeling of being tossed about and out of control. It was all very eye-opening in a disheartening kind of way. 

Now, before somone starts passing out Prozac^®, Paxil^® or Zoloft^® or whatever name the latest 'happy-high with a child-proof cap' goes by, let me just say that I am neither suicidal nor overwhelmed with despair. I have my moments, for sure, but this was just an observation that cried out for blog time and, well, my blog was feeling a bit neglected. Besides, if I wrote a blog entry and wasn't bitching or moaning, either no one would read it (which is only a slight drop in readership as it is) or those who did would believe that I had been abducted and replaced.

For anyone who is keeping score (so to speak), I am still not watching American Idol, though less because of the 'Mudd Incident' and more because it has become the National Enquirer of its genre, not to mention all that horrific screeching that they insist on showing for weeks before they get serious about it. I will, however, be glued to the set for the upcoming season of 'Dancing with the Stars', which I have previously watched only sporadically, mostly while channel-hopping. This year, though, I will watch as long as Jewel remains. I have no idea if she can dance but I will gladly watch her fall down for an hour. Unfortunately, she is bringing that dang cowboy. Somebody rope that cowpoke and drag him off, please. 

This is a sort of wayward rambling (as opposed to my normal, focused ramblings) but it had been a while since I had written and I didn't want to disappoint my 4 fans. I'm sure I will have more to say soon. Keep dropping by and leave a note so I know you're out there. 

Oh yeah, and to the fans from home...

 ò‡z€~  ¦±Ç·╖◘║ -l‼♣«╧╝     

 

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