Skip to main content

Posts

April Fool and other things I call myself

Originally Posted
 April is often equated with Spring and rain, not gloomy gray days, but happy little showers that bring life and beauty. Everything is colorful and lively. But for me, April is a tough month. As I sit here writing this, I am acutely aware that one week from today marks the 12th anniversary of the passing of my mom. It seems unreal even as I type those words.  Twelve years. I don't need a calendar or reminder app to keep up with that. My mom passed 13 days before my first biological child was born. I spoke with her the night before, and that conversation began exactly like every conversation I had with her began for the previous few months... "Do we have a baby yet?" To say that she was excited is like saying Pompeii was a bit warm in 79 AD. The fact that she never got to see my baby or hold her is one I will never get over.  In 20 days, my oldest girl will turn 12, and I can barely believe it. She never got to meet the woman who raised my sister and me by herself. She nev...
Post a Comment
Read more
Recent posts

Full Circle

Originally Posted
I tried to love you, but I’m no good at so many things.   I never had a real role model for father or husband.    My mom was everything. Don’t get me wrong. I do love you, with everything I am,  but it hasn’t been enough.    I am never enough. Oh, what I wouldn’t give to be the one…   to get the happy ending of books and movies and fairy tales…   to take my last breath lying in your arms, feeling safe and warm and loved. I used to think that the saddest thing ever was when I first loved you  all those years ago, and then you went away and married him .    You said you “ didn’t want to risk our friendship ”. And so, there I was, without you…   without my love… or my friend;     and here I am — full circle.    © 2026 Ron W Hamilton   All Rights Reserved
Post a Comment
Read more

Hole-Hearted

Originally Posted
I gave you my whole heart, Something I swore I'd never share; and you took it gladly, and even acted like you cared. I shared my whole soul with all my dirty truths and shame, and you took it all in and eased all of my doubts and pains.  I offered my whole life, Everything I am or could be, and you slipped on my ring and you were all that I could see. Until death do us part, nothing would ever change my love. It never wavered once, I even asked my mom above. I don't know what went wrong. I feel like I've gone quite insane, but I know without you, I will never be whole again.  © 2025 Ron W. Hamilton   All Rights Reserved This one makes me cringe. I know it isn't good, but it wanted out, and my mind was doing the best it could in full survival mode. I hope one day to polish it up and make it what I hoped it would be. How many things could I say that about in my life?               Image is AI generated. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Kryptonite

Originally Posted
 I needed some time to process this one before I could form words, let alone coherent, cohesive thoughts. That doesn't necessarily mean that it will be better, but I hope it is taken with the respect intended.  We all have our own Kryptonite . Some of us know what it is. Some don't. This week, Brad Arnold of Three Doors Down " left [his] body lying somewhere in the sands of time ", and his words in the hearts and minds of at least one generation. His particular Kryptonite turned out to be a common one... Cancer.  There is, undoubtedly, not one among us who has not lost someone close to us, or at the very least watched someone close to us battle this beast. If the sickness isn't bad enough, the treatment is often as bad or worse. Patients are expected to Down Poison . It's a Dangerous Game . Not everyone wins, but that does not mean Loser . Brad Arnold did not Duck And Run . Just like with his music, he gave his best. Now, as he told us he would, he has passed...
Post a Comment
Read more

Unlucky Thirteen

Originally Posted
If you've been reading lately, you know I am dropping some old (and not-so-old) writings, mostly poems, here as a backup. I have lost much of my writing over the years, so this seemed like a reasonable plan. So today I am adding a couple of short poems from a few months ago.  I'm not trying to explain much in these blog posts. I am just saving my stuff. Maybe, some of you will know, or glean what's happening. Maybe not. Maybe it will resonate in a different, more personal way for you. As a writer, I think that is as good as it gets.       Midnight in May The oceans don’t have the depth of your eyes, nor does the sky shine nearly as bright. The moon’s tidal forces can’t pull me away. The stars can’t match the gleam. What a sight. There is no sun that can warm me from within, quite like the fire of your touch. Your kiss sustains and satisfies my hunger, slakes my thirst. I crave it so much. My heartbeat matches the cadence of yours. Your love fills my so...
Post a Comment
Read more

Too Late Too Soon

Originally Posted
This one came to me on yet another sleepless night, about 2 in the morning, as I lay next to her sleeping, beautiful as always, right next to me, but out of reach.   RWH  8/23/2025   Too Late Too Soon I miss your body wrapped in mine -  two halves that make a whole. I miss your laugh and tender kiss -  the intertwining of our souls. I miss that smile that was just for me, that told the world she's mine.  I miss the hands that once held me when everything was fine.  I miss the way we used to talk about our day, our life. I miss the glow that shone around the day you became my wife.  I miss the man I used to be who felt like he was strong. I miss the way you made me feel like I could do no wrong.  I'm still the man who looks at you like you are just a dream -  beauty that all the years can't hide, that doesn't come from a cream. I'm still the man who wants nothing more  than to always be by your side.  It fills me with a confiden...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dragon Slayer

Originally Posted
  While no one is paying attention, I think I'll use this space and time to dump some writings as a sort of backup. Mostly poems that I've written over the last few months, as my life imploded. I am trying to rebuild, and it is sometimes overwhelming. The future I thought I had, the one I never expected and didn't think I deserved, came crashing down around me. Some might say the past caught up to me, but the present is the worst. I suppose if you're unlucky enough to be reading this, you probably know what is going on; if not, it doesn't matter, because this is just a backup and a catharsis. You're invited to my misery in the form of poetry and other ramblings. Feel free to comment if you want, but please be gentle. These are my rawest emotions, bled out on the page... or screen. This poem is called Dragon Slayer, and I guess even if you don't know me from Adam's housecat, you can figure out the gist of my crumbling world. Dragon Slayer If you'd hav...
Post a Comment
Read more