Tangled in a World Wide Web

With the approach of the holidays, I find myself in the familiar and unenviable position of being torn between all the blessings I should be thankful for and remembering that this is my first ever Thanksgiving without my mom. This is complicated by the fact that this week also marks the seven month anniversary of her death. Hard to imagine. My mom loved the holidays. The food, the fellowship, the family, the food. So many things remind me of her. So many little things. This will be an event. We are going to go to my sister's as I have most years when I could. Eating in the same place we had Thanksgiving last year with my mom. I don't know how to prepare for this. I don't like being ill prepared. Much less unprepared. I am writing this mostly as a cathartic exercise in hopes it will help. I am not fooled. I am not naive. Maybe a little desperate. I am trying not to imagine Christmas. That is a whole other ball game. And it falls on the eight month anniversary of my mom...

I like to think of myself as a curmudgeon 1 . Most people have different names for me. Most are not particularly flattering and if I had feelings or cared what anyone else thought, I might be upset. Luckily, I sleep soundly, never giving it or them a second thought. I remember I used to love Christmas... as a child, as a teenager, even as a young adult raising two kids. Somewhere along the way, the magic died, the stress, the financial burden, the greed and commercialization all took over and a Grinch was born - or hatched. As the kids got older, and particularly after they left home and I transitioned into a single, forty-ish bachelor living alone, I became less enamored and more jaded. This year has seemed especially hard for many reasons. The weather has been warm. I haven't had much money (big club, I know), I didn't see much chance of my getting back to my hometown and family for the holidays and aside from being a world-class procrastinator, I was working constantly and d...

How often we forget that Memorial Day is more than just a day off, a means to a three day weekend or the beginning of grilling season. In truth, it was established specifically to honor the fallen men (and later, women) of the militia.  It saddens me to admit that I, myself, have been guilty of treating Memorial Day like a pseudo-holiday. There are no presents to buy, no cards, and many companies don't even offer it as a day off. This is especially sad because so many families have, in one way or another, felt a loss associated with military service.  My grandfather was in the military ( 101st Airborne - Screaming Eagles ). He jumped at  Normandy  on  D-Day (June 6, 1944)  and again into Holland in September. He was captured in October and remained a POW until he was liberated in May 1945. Though he was not killed in action and lived a full life until November 1998, he gave much of himself overseas. Forced to  march in the snow for nearly three months , his feet were badly frozen a...

According to this page , a good translation of the words "auld lang syne" is " times gone by ." Play the tune. Well, another year is gone and I must say, "Good Riddance!". This has been a year of many disappointments and shortcomings... mostly mine. I suppose I should have known what the year would be like when I went to the doctor 3 times before the middle of February. I had been to the doctor, maybe 3 times in the previous ten years. I should have seen it for the portent that it was. It hasn't been all bad. If you get past the miserable first 5 months that I was sick and the traffic stop that nearly turned into a COPS episode on Easter Sunday; forget the home invasion, the murder of my brand new camera and the vandalism of my car all in May and June and gloss over the joke that my job has become since July; if you can look past all that plus my car being totaled last month , well the rest was just an average year. Above Average I suppose it sounds li...

This was originally posted at myspace.com/imanetjunkie HERE . (On Thanksgiving) It is so easy to forget what Thanksgiving is all about or to become so self-involved as to forget what we have to be thankful for. I haven't forgotten that the economy is bad. I haven't forgotten that we are in the middle of a war with no real end in sight. I haven't forgotten that people are starving and homeless here at home and abroad. I haven't forgotten Aids or Alzheimer's. I haven't forgotten that in the same year of change that we elected the first black President of the US, we also categorically and intentionally denied the freedom and rights of a growing portion of the population to enjoy the same privileges to share their lives and declare their love in front of God and man, to secure the same benefits as a traditional married couple. In essence, we haven't stepped forward, only sideways. I seem to have forgotten my point momentarily, however. I expected to be working o...