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No Apologies - Life Happens

 I know it's been quite a while since I wrote anything here, and I doubt that anyone is paying attention. There weren't many paying attention when I was writing somewhat regularly. A lot has happened since my last post, and I want to use this as my therapy, my catharsis, my outlet, and in some cases just a place to park my ramblings that might seem worth revisiting again later. I have lost much of my writing... poems and such, that I naively assumed would be safe forever on someone else's website. Between that (twice) and hard copies of older stuff (pre-interwebs) that have just been misplaced or possibly destroyed, I have lost some forever. Occasionally, I lament the loss for various reasons. I know no one else will even notice, but it's like a piece of me that is missing. Before I had kids, I might have described my writings as my children, but that seems a bit strong when I have real breathing offspring that I helped create and hopefully will have a bigger and better...
Recent posts

7 things I learned in 7 Years of Fatherhood

 It's been a little over seven years since I have posted a new blog entry. I don't expect even the most ardent of followers are waiting on the edge of their seat for another installment. Nevertheless, I felt the urge to follow up the last post " Seven Things I've Learned in Seven Months " with an update. Better late than never. Here is a list of seven things I've learned in the seven years since becoming a father: That beautiful, sweet girl from a few years ago has been replaced by a mouthy, brat with an attitude that sometimes tests my reluctance to go to jail.  A houseful of females can get quite tense long before 3/4 of them even have periods. Gives new meaning to PMS (PRE-menstrual). Sometimes (far too often) I see or hear myself in one of my kids.  Sometimes, I see or hear my mom come right out of my mouth.  No one can hurt me quite like my kids. I owe my mom so many apologies. How I wish I could. I have learned a great deal but I still have so much to le...

Seven Things I've Learned in Seven Months

Before my daughter was born, I wrote (OK, pilfered, paraphrased, and possibly plagiarized) a blog entry titled 99 things I hope to teach my daughter. Now, here we are, more than seven months in and I thought I'd share seven things I've learned. The things that she's learned had nothing to do with me. The things I've learned are all because of her. There is nothing better than the great big grin on her face when I walk into a room. There is no sound sweeter than her laugh. I can change diapers, wipe snotty noses and clean up spit up without a hazmat suit or throwing up. Not all babies look like aliens (it seems most don't in fact). Babies go through a LOT of diapers and baby wipes. A. Freaking. Lot. Eat, sleep, pee, eat, sleep, poop, eat, sleep, pee, and repeat. I have a lot to learn. (But I've learned a lot.) One bonus item that isn't on the numbered list only because it isn't technically from the baby... Mommy's job never ends. T...

Thanksgiving may be hard to swallow this year

With the approach of the holidays, I find myself in the familiar and unenviable position of being torn between all the blessings I should be thankful for and remembering that this is my first ever Thanksgiving without my mom. This is complicated by the fact that this week also marks the seven month anniversary of her death. Hard to imagine. My mom loved the holidays. The food, the fellowship, the family, the food. So many things remind me of her. So many little things. This will be an event. We are going to go to my sister's as I have most years when I could. Eating in the same place we had Thanksgiving last year with my mom. I don't know how to prepare for this. I don't like being ill prepared. Much less unprepared. I am writing this mostly as a cathartic exercise in hopes it will help. I am not fooled. I am not naive. Maybe a little desperate. I am trying not to imagine Christmas. That is a whole other ball game. And it falls on the eight month anniversary of my mom...

In the Arms of the Angels

Three weeks after my last post, I lost my mom, quite suddenly. It's been nearly four months and I am no closer to understanding, no closer to acceptance, and certainly no closer to OK. This, just two weeks before my beautiful daughter was born. Mom had been so excited about my first child. A child no one ever expected. A grandchild she had given up on. (Yes, she has four awesome and monstrously talented grandkids she saw daily, but none from me.) At forty-five (when we found out) no one was as surprised as I was. No one was more excited than my mom. Every time I talked to her, she asked (usually her first words) "do we have a baby yet". The last time I called (the night before the morning I got "the call" was no exception. I told her soon. We talked about how we would get up there as soon as we could after so she could see the baby. I told her I would call her again soon. She sounded tired and I didn't want to aggravate an already delicate balance. (Another...

99 Things I Hope to Teach My Daughter

I am in my mid forties and about to have my first child. It is and has already been life-altering, eye-opening, scary, exciting and so many things. I recently ran across a blog or article that intrigued me and so I did what anyone would, I copied it and pasted it and combed through and modified it to my own personality and beliefs. I expect more than a few of these will change over the years at least to some degree and most likely I’ll end up learning as much as she. But for now, in all my ignorance, this is what I hope to instill in this wonderful, beautiful, little person that is part me and part Jennifer. I hope and pray that the parts of each of us are the right parts.   (I apologize that I forgot to get the link or author’s name as some of these are all but unchanged and plagiarism is not my goal.) You are absolutely and undeniably unique.  You are one of a kind; there is no one else exactly like you in the world.  BE YOURSELF.  If so...

Mayberry Mourns

What a sad, sad day. In what has to be a national tragedy, beloved actor Andy Griffith, who raised untold generations of kids with his tv son Opie, has passed at 86. I have literally shed tears as if my own grandfather had breathed his last, again. If that wasn't enough sadness, a local celebrity (how he would laugh), has fought the great fight and lost. Ken "K.C." Carlisle, was one of the first people I had business dealings with when I moved to Dothan, almost 17 years ago. A nicer guy you couldn't have conjured. As sad as it is, I don't think KC could have asked for better than going out with Andy. Both will be missed and probably for many of the same reasons. The easy smile, the natural warmth, and the feeling that you are among family, are qualities that seem to fit both. As much as I wish l could claim to be friends with either or both, this is just the ramblings of an acquaintance (at best) and a fan. As a human, it makes me wonder... What legacy will I ...