Tangled in a World Wide Web

About five years ago, around the fifth anniversary of 9/11, I was feeling frustrated, powerless and angry. I was not sure about the war and the number of people still dying over in a land I can only imagine. I was feeling duped and mistrustful of a leader who either lied or had been misled himself. Needing somewhere, some way to channel all that negative energy and being too old to join the fight, I sat down late one night and tried to express it all with words. The result follows. I'm no Wordsworth or Frost but it helped me then. And now, on the tenth anniversary, and with Bin Laden dead, the war continues, young people are still dying and I felt the need to share... A rare occurence with my poetry. This Hole in the Ground... This hole in the ground was not my home, Not even where I worked. I knew no one who died that day, Nor anyone who was hurt. The loss I feel can't be explained By personal connection, More like a piece out of a whole a part of a collection. To me...

The words are borrowed but the sentiment is mine... Yesterday, When I Was Young Yesterday, when I was young, The taste of life was sweet, as rain upon my tongue, I teased at life, as if it were a foolish game, The way the evening breeze may tease a candle flame The thousand dreams I dreamed, the splendid things I planned, I always built, alas, on weak and shifting sand, I lived by night, and shunned the naked light of day, And only now, I see, how the years ran away Yesterday, when I was young, So many happy songs were waiting to be sung, So many wild pleasures lay in store for me, And so much pain, my dazzled eyes refused to see I ran so fast that time, and youth at last ran out, I never stopped to think, what life, was all about, And every conversation, I can now recall, Concerned itself with me, and nothing else at all Yesterday, the moon was blue, And every crazy day, brought something new to do, I used my magic age, as if it were a wand, And never saw the worst, and the emptiness ...

Well this week just keeps getting better and better. Sunday, I ran into my ex and the grandchild. It was a tough reminder of how much I miss one of them. This along with a few other reminders of things that didn't turn out as planned led me to a few extra adult beverages and perhaps a bit heavier on the adult part. Subsequently, I began picking over my life with that fine-toothed comb reserved for pity-parties with too much booze. Of course, the next step is the all too familiar games of "What If" and "If Only", which then led to more adult beverages. That night ended in a blur of frozen pizza full-reverse. Woke up Monday morning with a massive, raging headache, like nothing I can remember. I've never had a hangover before so I assumed my age and stupidity had caught up with me and I deserved what I got. While I was struggling to get ready for work I suddenly got violently sick again. Almost no warning and no more pizza. It was painful. I got a text from a c...