Tempus Fugit or My Epic Fail

Hard to believe but, yet another year has passed. As I sit here waiting for the ringing in of another year, or the passing on of another, I look back over the past 12 months and while there are several high points, there are just as many lows. More importantly, being the glutton for punishment and masochist that I am, I chose to review my post from a year ago regarding my thoughts on New years Resolutions.

Sadly, and against my own better judgement, I chose to list the things I wanted to change or improve. So instead of creating a new list here of renewed futility, I decided to outline my own epic fail.

* * *
I have never been particularly vain, but here on the other side of forty, I do carry a few extra pounds and I listed this as one of the things I would work on. I buy Lean Cuisine "nuke-n-pukes" and mostly low-fat everything and, still I fight the battle of the bulge.

* * *
After falling backwards into a job I never would have looked for, and subsequently becoming somewhat enamored with it, I have struggled with the politics and childish behavior, the cliques and the micro-management, only to find myself deeper in and far more reluctant to walk away. A year ago, I had resolved to do just that.

* * *
The final thing I mentioned in last year's post, at least in the form of a resolution, was that I have a terrible tendency to procrastinate and I wanted to work on that. I think that this new blog post is its own testament to the epic fail that represents, nevermind the six-month hiatus I took from writing here.

I wish this piece would offer up some sage advice for the coming year but, in truth, it is just another rambling rant. Nevertheless, I wish everyone a Happy New Year. Peace and Prosperity to all.

A Grinch Un-Scrooged

I like to think of myself as a curmudgeon¹. Most people have different names for me. Most are not particularly flattering and if I had feelings or cared what anyone else thought, I might be upset. Luckily, I sleep soundly, never giving it or them a second thought.

I remember I used to love Christmas... as a child, as a teenager, even as a young adult raising two kids. Somewhere along the way, the magic died, the stress, the financial burden, the greed and commercialization all took over and a Grinch was born - or hatched. As the kids got older, and particularly after they left home and I transitioned into a single, forty-ish bachelor living alone, I became less enamored and more jaded.

This year has seemed especially hard for many reasons. The weather has been warm. I haven't had much money (big club, I know), I didn't see much chance of my getting back to my hometown and family for the holidays and aside from being a world-class procrastinator, I was working constantly and didn't do any Christmas shopping until last minute. This might have been cyclical... I wasn't in the "spirit" and so I didn't want to shop and not having any Christmas presents (or decorations) didn't help me with getting the "spirit". With a little luck and a strange twist of fate or two (or some might say a big ol' Christmas miracle, LOL) I was able to make it home for the holidays and even did all my shopping on Christmas Eve Eve and Christmas Eve proper. (I can hear you calling me a slacker.)

My point is (yes, I did have one) that I spent the last few hours with my mom and sister and my sister's 4 kids (3 under 12) and friends and family. Family is important and makes a big difference but let's face it, kids are where the magic comes from in Christmas. My sister has the greatest kids (please don't tell them) and being around youth and innocence, the joy and enthusiasm is contagious. If only we could bottle that feeling, I am confident that the makers of Prozac®, Seroquel®, Xanax® and similar drugs would be out of business... or at least that type of business.

I am still a grumpy old curmudgeon but for this holiday at least, I finally found a little Christmas Spirit. Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight.

---------------------------------

¹ What is a Curmudgeon anyway? See a brilliant explanation here.
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Free Shipping with delivery by Christmas Eve

Where can I get THAT, you ask...

Over 700 online merchants are participating in the second annual Free Shipping Day from www.freeshippingday.com.

In 2007, Luke Knowles of FreeShipping.org noticed that after about Dec. 10th, Internet shopping all but came to a halt. Many people are afraid that their orders won't make it on time or they'll have to pay exorbitant shipping to get it. An idea was born and in the Summer of 2008, preparations began for the first ever Free Shipping Day. When freeshippingday.com launched, it was expected to have 25 participating merchants. By the time Free Shipping Day came on Dec. 18th 2008, there were over 250. The site drew a quarter of a million hits over a 10 day period including over 100,000 hits on the actual day.

It was such a huge success that Knowles started immediately planning and preparing for this year's event. The goal this year was a lofty 500 merchants. That mark was left in the dust about a week ago and as I write this now I just changed the second line above from 'Nearly 700' to 'Over 700'. If you visit the site you'll also notice that in the top right corner there is a "retweet" button that allows Twitter members to 'tweet' about the event. At last glance, it was showing nearly 500 'retweets'.

The countdown is on for what is sure to be a huge success. If you are like me, a super procrastinator who hasn't done the first bit of Christmas shopping yet, this is definitely the site to start with.

This is not just a small site with a bunch of little mom & pop operations hoping to get noticed. You'll find names like Nike, Kmart, Sears, Fanny May, Godiva, New Balance, Anne Klein, American Eagle Outfitters, Aeropostle, JC Penney, and hundreds more.

Go check it out now and tell 'em I sent ya.

Pet Diaries

This is an oldie but I found it recently and got a chuckle so I thought I would share...

______________________________________________

I found my pet's diaries ... I can't believe what they have to say...

Pet Diary Excerpts

The Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

For now...

Dancing in the Streets

Many of you may be aware that last weekend I went to Montgomery for the Jubilee CityFest. Essentially, two days of concerts on three different stages across downtown. There were all types of artists and groups and music represented. Just a few acts that were there:

• LL COOL J
• Hinder
• 3 Doors Down
• Montgomery Gentry
• Candlebox
• Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
• Darius Rucker (former lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish)
• Tone Loc
• Bow Wow

Unfortunately, many of the concerts were happening at the same time. This means I didn't see everyone I wanted to and I had to choose in some cases. I missed LL Cool J and Hootie. I saw Hinder and Candlebox and 3 Doors Down. They were the main reasons we went anyway. 

Friday night after the concerts ended, we went back to the hotel and discovered we had just missed LL COOL J, who was staying in the same hotel. We were a little bummed but it was cool to know that he was there. 

Hinder was so awesome as was 3 Doors Down. Candlebox surprised me by doing a little montage/homage to some great musicians such as Crazy Train by Ozzy and Zeppelin's Immigrant Song and a couple of others. It was very cool.

In between Friday night's concerts and Saturday night's concerts we needed something to do and on the spur of the moment, we decided to hit the Montgomery Zoo. It was fun and interesting and I highly recommend it to anyone. 

I have around 350 pictures of the whole weekend. I will work on getting them up and link them here. Not all probably, but the best ones. 

'Til next time.

Last Monday in May

How often we forget that Memorial Day is more than just a day off, a means to a three day weekend or the beginning of grilling season. In truth, it was established specifically to honor the fallen men (and later, women) of the militia. 

It saddens me to admit that I, myself, have been guilty of treating Memorial Day like a pseudo-holiday. There are no presents to buy, no cards, and many companies don't even offer it as a day off. This is especially sad because so many families have, in one way or another, felt a loss associated with military service. 

My grandfather was in the military (101st Airborne - Screaming Eagles). He jumped at Normandy on D-Day (June 6, 1944) and again into Holland in September. He was captured in October and remained a POW until he was liberated in May 1945. Though he was not killed in action and lived a full life until November 1998, he gave much of himself overseas. Forced to march in the snow for nearly three months, his feet were badly frozen and he suffered the rest of his life from the damage it caused. He came home, met and married my grandmother and lived a normal, almost boring life (certainly by comparison). 

I am ashamed sometimes that I didn't pay more attention to the stories. I remember some horrible parts but I was a child and by the time I was old enough to appreciate the service and sacrifice that he made as a young man, he could barely remember me, much less regale me with war stories. 

I had no specific plans for this Memorial Day. I was sitting around the house watching TV and I heard what sounded like a helicopter landing on my darn trailer. I looked out to see what was happening and saw a military chopper going over so close that I literally could have hit it with a rock. It landed in the cemetary behind me and I realized that there is always a ceremony of sorts at this cemetary, which happens to be full of veterans, on these kinds of holidays. I was curious and so I ventured out in direct sunlight for the first time that day.

I walked to the end of the yard and cars were lined as far as I could see in both directions and a couple of guys in 'golf' carts were shuttling people from their cars to the cemetary. I decided a closer look was warranted and started off. One of the golf carts was passing and the kid on it slowed and said to me, "You're welcome to attend." I nodded and he went on.

I must admit I didn't have any real expectations and yet as I rounded the bend and passed the end of the treeline, I was a bit surprised at the sight. A huge tent was in the grass and mud (it rained for the last few days). Not a funeral tent but a big "tent sale" type tent. Surrounding the tent was maybe 40 or 50 American flags. The military chopper was off to one side and a Sheriff's Dept. helicopter off to another. Beneath the tent and spilling out was a crowd far larger than I expected for a rainy Memorial Day ceremony in a small cemetary on the outskirts of town.

It was uplifting in a way to see that many people there. Someone said the Pledge of Allegiance to the flag and then there was a twenty-one gun salute, one cannon burst and the haunting sound of Taps on the bugle. It gave me goosebumps; it made me sad; it made me proud and it made me thankful. It was an unexpected rush of emotions for a guy who claims to only know one emotion. It made me think of my grandfather and it led me to write this rambling blog.

___________________________________________

My grandfather died in November 1998 after suffering from Alzheimer's Disease for years. A couple of years later I wrote this:

The Long Goodbye

Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance

So, maybe I am a slacker. I was gonna send my mom flowers on Mother's Day and I had found a beautiful arrangement that was perfect. It was the perfect colors and I was excited about it. It was about $42 and I knew there would be other charges. I even added an option that took it up about another $5. When I started to check out, it jumped up to about $65. I thought, "Damn! Do I really want to spend that much on something that will rot in about a week?" I decided to hold off.

Long story short, I tried again later, decided WTF. 

It was now gonna cost $85. I just couldn't do it. Sorry Mom.

Now, this doesn't mean that I don't think my mom is worth that amount. It just means I don't think dead flowers are worth that much.

 Sometimes it's just Goodbye...

After giving up on that plan, I found a great gift - one I've been halfway keeping an eye on for a while. It was a digital frame that was large (800x600), took all kinds of memory cards and a USB cable and was compatible with most formats including music and movies.

It was a great deal at around one-third of what I'd seen these priced and to top it all off - FREE SHIPPING!  I know, right?  Everybody that knows me, knows these are the magic words. It can seal the deal when I am on the fence. 

So I placed my order.

It was on ebay but it was from Tiger Direct, so I was confident and unconcerned. I had the best of everything. Great price, free shipping and a good product from a "trusted company". 

Because of some unrelated issues I was having with PayPal which prevented me paying immediately, I tried a few times to close the deal unsuccessfully. A couple of days later when I tried again (for about the fifth time), I was surprised to see $8.99 added on for shipping. Now to me, that is a lot even if I weren't promised FREE SHIPPING. But I was. 

So I stopped, yet again, and wrote this email:

I have had some problems with my PayPal and haven't been able to pay as quickly as I normally would. Today when I tried once again my FREE SHIPPING has changed to $8.99!
 
I assure you that FREE SHIPPING was a major factor in this purchase and if it is not an option, I would like to cancel this purchase.
 
Please respond promptly.
 
 
Thank You,

This is the response I get...

Thank you for your time and patience. We are confirming that this order has been cancelled by request. We look forward to serving you again. Thank you..

Way to work to keep your customers, Carl.

I was amazed. I couldn't believe that rather than fix the issue, they would just dismiss me and my order. It might have been a very small insignificant order but I reminded them quickly of the age we live in. My follow-up email went like this...

That is fine, however, I will be spreading the news on my blog, myspace, facebook and any other possible medium that I can find.

The listing that I bid on (now closed, of course), clearly stated Free Shipping!

Had I bid on an item that showed $8.99 s/h (such as the new listing you have for this product) I would not have a problem paying it, but that was not the case.

Thank you for your time.

Amazingly, I received a new response from a different person. (Personally, I hope it is because the first one was fired.)

Dear Valued Customer.

We do apologize for any inconvenience or confusion this may have caused you. If the product listing includes free shipping, then rest assured that it is free shipping. We will make the necessary correction regarding this matter. If you have already paid for the product(s) that included free shipping a credit will be issued to your PayPal account. Thank you again for your time and patience.

Interestingly enough, I tried after this to go back and once again pay for the item.  (if you know me, you know how uncommon it is for me to put up with this.) When I tried to pay the last two times (yes, twice), I was unable because the order had been cancelled. How awesome is that?

I have dealt with Mother's Day (albeit belatedly). I have given up on TIGER DIRECT. I did not respond to the last email. I am sorry that I didn't get the photo frame for my mom. She would have loved it. I was even going to load it up with pictures since she recently lost a gazillion when her computer crashed. 

C'est La Vie.

I hope that somewhere, this will be used as a lesson in what not to do in customer service. This was a simple fix. I am a simple guy. I was not being unreasonable (I have been accused). 

Do I think TIGER DIRECT is sweating the loss of a forty dollar sale - No. 

Do I think my blog is gonna make a dent in their sales - No.

What I do think is that I am a technoGeek that prefers to shop online. Once I find a place I like and trust, I will stay with them (unless they give me a reason not to). I will spread the word to all my technoGeek friends. And I know that it is cheaper to keep a customer than to bring in a new one.

Goodbye TIGER DIRECT - Hello NEWEGG.

Choice or Chance - Sin or Sentiment

This is a response to a blog from a friend of mine which was a response to a blog from a "friend" of hers... 

My friend is a lesbian; her 'friend' disapproves. Read on.

I am never so appalled as when a 'christian' starts espousing faith-based "wisdom" about something that is controversial. I find it especially telling when you ask one of 'them' to explain or substantiate some of their ranting...  You are liable to get the same old rhetoric and hoopla and when all else fails the old standby  "...that's what faith is all about". 

As near as I can tell, the ultimate goal is to make certain that absolutely no one is happy (except the mindless drones who meander contentedly through life, denying themselves many forms of pleasure in the now, for a promise of eternal happiness forever-after -- after they die that is).  

So here is this wonderful, loving, christian woman writing about how forgiving she and God can be of the horrible evil that is homosexuality.  You know what else I find interesting... when a heterosexual relationship is brought into question for one reason or other, a common response is 'Well, you can't help who you fall in love with".  Unless of course you 'choose' to be gay. WTF ever!

 - - Here is a snippet of the blog that started this...

...put your arm around that person and let them KNOW they are loved by God, Healer, the Almighty One who has defeated death, defeated Satan.  This war that goes on now is a war for each individuals soul.  God fights for every one persons soul out there.  Yours, mine, your sisters, brothers, mothers, neighbors, and yes...your gay friend.  Am I saying that homosexuality is OK?  Well, if I go by what the bible says, then no.  And despite the fact that I have a couple of friends who are gay...friends that I think are wonderful people, I believe that living a gay lifestyle is wrong.  It's not how God intended it.  It is a sin...

She then goes on to 'quote'/reprint a whole article from someone else, a woman who has spent her life denying who she is and what she feels because it is 'wrong'...

- - - - - - snippet of article - - - - - - - 

What I Found Waiting for Me   

by Kristen Johnson

 

I had been a Christian since I was five years old, the daughter and granddaughter of Presbyterian ministers, yet I struggled with same sex attraction. I also had engaged in unhealthy relationships with men.

Although I dated in high school, I was ambivalent toward the boys I dated. I was very outgoing and active in music, theater, cheerleading, and other activities. Yet, underneath all this activity and “normalcy” I was struggling with my sexuality and self-image.

In college, I had a non-physical, emotionally dependent relationship with my roommate, which lasted over four years. I was terrified of the romantic love I felt toward her, rationalizing the relationship as merely a deep friendship. Because of my attachment to her, I was not motivated to date men or desire marriage.

After college, however, I became physically involved with a man while I was overseas. I was relieved to be in the arms of a man rather than a woman, but the loss of my virginity, my increasing promiscuity, and my occasional abuse of alcohol began to take its toll. My relationship with this man ended with my having a miscarriage.

In my late twenties, I finally acted out my homosexual feelings and had an emotional and physical affair with a woman. Initially, I felt euphoric, and yet at the same time I felt as if a war was raging inside of me. It was during this affair that I was forced to reconcile being a Christian and living in a homosexual relationship.

I wrestled with the Lord in prayer: I questioned him and I begged him. I attempted to find peace by reading books that described Christians who had reconciled their faith and homosexuality, and I even tried attending a gay-friendly church. However, my anxiety only increased because God was making it clear as I read Scripture that God’s plan for my sexuality was staring at me in Genesis and in the words of Jesus. 

 Does this sound like a choice this woman made? That makes as much sense as someone choosing forty years ago to be black. 

My question is this: How can something be a sin if it isn't a choice? 

Will someone please reference some specific scripture here that says that homosexuality is wrong. I mean I realize that the bible can say anything you want it to. Let's face it - the bible clearly says: "...and Judas went out and hanged himself. Go thou and do likewise." Take any two verses in the bible and prove any argument. 

While we are quoting scripture - let me throw a good one around.

Matthew 7  says:

Judge not lest ye be judged...

I think it is shameful that the most judgemental and the least tolerant people I know, call themselves 'Christians'.   Everywhere I turn I see WWJD.  What would Jesus do? My guess is he would have another 'cleansing' as with the money-changers then  he would weep and finally he would say "Let my children come unto me".

I remember as a very young child singing the song 'Jesus Loves the Little Children - All the Children of the World - Red and Yellow, Black and White - They are Precious in His Sight' and even then I knew people who sang it but did not live it. 

The bible says "Let him without sin cast the first stone".  Assuming someone thinks that being born a certain way is a sin, it sounds an awful lot like it is none of our business.

Good Service Not Yet Dead

Everyone likes to feel special, right?

Sure we do.  Don't let anyone tell you that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. It is all about feeling special. We want that one woman (or person, sorry), that makes us feel like we can do anything and we can do it better than anyone else. That's the secret.

I have to move on before this becomes a very different blog.

This weekend, a few of us went to the newest Mexican restaurant in the area, La Parilla, again. We have become fans. I should mention that we have been a few times.  

I went in and put in for a table of four and was handed the vibrating thingy. I asked how long and the girl estimated about 25 minutes. I went back to let the rest of the group know. 

As we stood waiting outside, enjoying the pre-summer afternoon and a little banter amongst ourselves, the guy who has been our server several times (maybe every time), caught our attention and asked if we'd like to sit there on the patio.  As it was a nice day out, we said sure and he motioned us over to the exit which I know from personal experience is tricky enough to get out and nigh impossible to get in.

Our wait time was cut down to about 1/5 of expected. Aren't we all 'VIP'. So after being seated on the patio near the door, close enough to hear the live music just inside, which by the way was pretty good, Juanguy (I hope I spelled that right),  came around and asked "Sweet tea all around?".  Good memory, I thought.

He came back fairly quickly with four teas and points to Sonja and asks "Fajita Quesadilla?"  Now anyone who has been there with Sonja knows this was not a stretch. It is what she always gets. But still, in the grand scheme of things, I was impressed. 

The whole crew was fascinating to watch. I saw one guy come out several times with plates lined all the way up his arm. The food was phenomenal as always and Juanguy was as good as it gets for service. He never let me run out of tea (the first cardinal sin) but he never hovered obsessively either. 

As usual, when we finally stopped eating, and we were all stuffed beyond comfort level, Juanguy asked if we would like dessert and as usual we said no way. This time, however, he asked if we had ever tried flan?  Apparently, none of us had and off he went. In a moment he returned with a plate and four spoons. 

It was delicious and despite the fact that each of us had just declared that we couldn't do dessert, as we were stuffed, we all dove in and destroyed it. It was a flan massacre. If you don't know what flan is, I may not be much help. It's like a custard type thing covered in caramel. I was pleasantly surprised. (For those few of you who might be thinking it is the same as creme brulee, it is not. Creme brulee has a hard caramel top while flan has a liquid or soft caramel poured over it.)

In an unusual twist, I have become sidetracked. ;D  My main motivation was to point out that good service is rare but it does still exist. If you want proof, drop by La Parilla Mexican Restaurant on Hwy 231 N. Be sure to ask for Juanguy (pronounced won-gey).

And don't forget to tip your server. 

Random Rants {PG-17}

So, it's been a while since I blogged. Yesterday was a month because, for three weeks I had no internet. It had something to do with the freakin' 40 days and 40 nights of rain that nearly washed away my humble abode. (OK, It was more like 2½ weeks.)

Because of this extended and unplanned hiatus, I have several unrelated items to air out. So, if this seems disjointed and rambling - it is.

The Job

I still have the same job, working for a company with nearly 200 employees and about 220 faces. Also I have discovered that, after two and a half years in school, struggling to get a degree (while working full-time), I have achieved the heady title of Overpaid Typist.  I am all choked up.

The Car

I still have the same car that I spent over $1250 to get running after the "Total Loss" of my perfectly good one. I haven't had a lot of trouble out of it other than the fact that it is 16 years old and during the aforementioned monsoon season a couple weeks ago, leaked like a sieve, leaving a nice little pond in my floorboard. It is almost dry now but I still get the benefit of driving what smells like a big, wet dog to work.

Friday morning, however, I wasn't even sure that Clifford, the big green POS, was gonna get me there. It definitely has an issue. I think I just need to buy a bicycle.

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WARNING - THE FOLLOWING MAY CONTAIN OPINIONS OF THE AUTHOR REGARDING POLITICS, RELIGION AND OTHER IDIOCY!
This is not an invitation for you to share your opposing views. If you wish to do that - GET YOUR OWN BLOG!

I rarely read the newspaper. I mean an actual, dirty, smelly newspaper. I have never been a big newspaper reader but since moving to the Wiregrass Area, I have a hard time stomaching what passes for the English language in any of the local media. 

I shouldn't be surprised. Even (muffled inaudible) years ago, when I was pulled off the graduation list because I was flunking English (SLACKER!), I was amazed because the guy who sat next to me, (the football player who couldn't read a paragraph from our literature book without sounding like an epileptic falling down stairs in slow-motion), was passing. Unbelievable!

Anyway, I got sidetracked again. The other day, I am perusing a local paper, left in the break room at work and as usual, I am seeking out the crossword. I run across the Opinion page, the top of which is monopolized by a cartoon. Across the top of this is a banner, of sorts, that reads "Gay Marriage Legal In Four States... Next?"  Below this is an unsigned drawing depicting three cowboy-looking figures leaning against an old pickup. One of the figures is looking at the other two and says: "I wish I could quit you... and you." The pickup's tailgate reads 'POLYGAMY'.

I'm not sure if the implication is that homosexuality leads to polygamy or that only homosexuals are polygamists or perhaps it implies that owning a pickup truck leads to polygamy. That seems kind of self-defeating. They should have a bus. Maybe one like the Partridge Family - 'Hey, I think I love you and you and you...' 

Oddly, I've never heard of a homosexual polygamist (truck-driving or otherwise). In fact, it's usually some religious jackass(es), though most churches actually preach against it. Religious people do love to tell other people what they can or cannot do. Seems polygamy, specifically polygyny (1 man with many wives), is perfect for them. A man gets 10 or 12 wives to dominate and they each have a passel of kids to control. 

Ironically, the bible has approximately forty documented cases of polygamy. [...] Not to mention, Exodus 21:10, states that multiple marriages are not to diminish the status of the first wife (specifically, her right to food, clothing and conjugal relations). Deuteronomy 21:15-17, states that a man must award the inheritance due to a first-born son to the son who was actually born first, even if he hates that son's mother and likes another wife more; [13] and Deuteronomy 17:17 states that the king shall not have too many wives. [wikipedia.com]

Again, I digress. I never meant to argue for polygamy. My point is, I was totally offended by this cartoon. I am neither gay nor a polygamist but the correlation drawn between the two was appalling. The mere fact that being gay was likened to marrying numerous people is offensive. It is apples and oranges anyway.

First, one is a choice; a choice which happens to be illegal in the US. Most western countries do not recognize polygamous marriages, and consider bigamy a crime. Several countries also prohibit people from living any type of polygamous lifestyle. No one is born a polygamist. 

Second, even if we skip the mechanics and suppress the speculation, the main idea is that if we legalize gay marriage now, soon we might just allow somebody else to do something else they want to do. - Oh my stars! - What would happen to this country if we just let everyone do, say and believe what they wanted? 

It isn't just the fact that many don't support gay marriage that bothers me. It bothers me that few seem to realize that we have once again taken a group of people, different somehow by birth, not choice, and denied them equal rights. We have, in essence, said, "You are not worthy of the same rights and privileges that others are afforded because you are different from what we deem as natural. You are less than a person."

WOW! All that is missing is the swastika (and the tiny mustache).

Concert Pics

The videos didn't work very well.  The audio was horrible.  Not going to post anything with audio because of it. 

Here's a link to some pics.  They were all taken with my phone so...

You Know I Make You Wanna Scream

I haven't been to a real concert in ages. I have seen some live performances, some very good ones, but I haven't actually gone to a serious ear-bleeding concert in more years than I can count. This was a choice I made consciously, a supposed informed decision.

As of this moment, I cannot remember what logic I used to arrive at that decision.

Last night (Monday), I went to a concert in Columbus, GA. (I know, right?) For just over forty dollars, I was privy to Papa Roach, BuckCherry and Avenged Sevenfold, along with newcomers Burn Halo. Now, I know that A7X was the headliner with BuckCherry but I was most looking forward to Papa Roach. Either way, for forty bucks, I couldn't miss.

If it wasn't bad enough that I was the old guy at a concert definitely not targeted to my specific demographic, but I had to go alone. {collective awww} (I know, right?) My buddy had to back out because of some work entanglements. I almost didn't go myself because I wasn't sure I wanted to go alone but I decided at the eleventh hour to go ahead.

Now, many of you might not understand this very concise review I'm about to give and if you read on, I'll go into some detail. For those of you who are keeping up...

OMFG!!!

To translate for the too old, too young or too out of it, this was an awesome event, unparalleled in its energy and excitement. It was raucus and wild and a little tawdry at times. Everything you'd want in a concert.

First up was Burn Halo. These guys did a pretty good job but since no one knew them, the response was a bit tepid. No one was there to see them but it got the ball rolling.

Next up was Papa Roach. These guys are great. I love their music, They really played to the crowd and livened things up quite a bit. I suppose if the concert had ended there, it would have been a pretty good concert.

But....

Up next was BuckCherry. These guys are definitely not kid friendly but they were good. Their songs are funny in a juvenile, whispered dirty joke, kind of way. Not that there was anything quiet about them, or anything that night. I admit, as good as they were, I still liked Papa Roach better.

Then came Avenged Sevenfold. These guys came to rock. They came to party. They came to bring down the house. They succeeded in all three. It was a fantastic show and I am forever more a fan. Before tonight, I knew a couple of A7x songs from the radio but if you'd ask me to name or sing one, I'd be in trouble.

I was originally going to buy a t-shirt because you have to have a t-shirt if you go to a concert. I decided against BuckCherry because the main ones I liked were not work friendly (Crazy Bitch or Too Drunk to ****). Since I like Papa Roach most, I figured that was the smart choice but their shirts just didn't impress me. I finally decided not to shell out the $25-30 for a t-shirt but after about 20-30 minutes of A7x, I decided I needed a shirt and it needed to be an A7x shirt. Too bad by then they were out of the 'Scream' t-shirts. I would have pushed the limits at work for that one.

I have pics and video but it was all taken with my little phone and so I have to go through and see what worked and what didn't. Once I cull through and determine what is halfway recognizable, I'll post some and link it here.

'Til next time...

A Star Is Born

Let me say, without any bias at all, that my niece is a budding actress and a damn fine one at that.

All of my sister's children have participated at one time or another in plays and skits and such. Spenser, at 14, has decided he prefers behind the scenes work now, usually with lighting and or sound. Reed, 10, won an outstanding student award this summer, after attending a camp sponsored by the Springer Opera House, an honor for sure. Sydney, 7, and Macy, who just turned 6 last week have each had small roles in several productions at Family Theatre. My sister and her husband Jason, have acted, directed, written and everything else you can name from snacks to photos.

Last night, (Saturday) I saw Macy in her first lead role; it was the title character in Heidi. Now, I'm no actor, nor am I a critic. I consider anyone who can get onstage in front of a bunch of people without wetting themselves darn talented and darn lucky. However, Saturday night, in a show of about 14 characters played by 11 people, (Macy plus eight adults and two teens), Macy not only held her own, she owned the role, the show and the night. She knew her lines ( a lot of lines for a six year old). She knew her cues. Her timing was good, and her performance was spectacular. Her facial expressions, her body language, every nuance of the role was right on.

On top of all that, there were a lot of kids in the audience. There was a lot of noise and distractions. I was distracted a few times, yet I never saw Macy lose focus at all. I, myself, not only lack the skills and patience for all that would be required to be the lead in an hour and a half long play, I would never have the courage or confidence, not now at 40 and certainly not at 6.

I may be the proud uncle and this may sound biased but that kid was amazing.

Could I have your autograph, please?

Wii would like a medic...

A friend invited me over on the pretense of returning a borrowed book. I say pretense because, I am convinced the ulterior motive was good, old-fashioned torture. When I arrived, it was already in motion. Seemingly innocuous, it stood off to the side like a wallflower, like the middle school student who came to the dance without a date.

"Would you like to play a game?"

I'm reminded of an old movie with Matthew Broderick and Dabney Coleman.

"No, I have to get home."

It was true; Grey's Anatomy was not a repeat and besides, I'm a proud couch potato.

"Just one game... it's awesome!"

Finally, I relented to try baseball, because "all you have to do is hit a home run". Yeah, like point and shoot with an M1 Abrams Tank. No problem. Thirty balls later and I'm breathing like a pervert with a burn phone.

"Let's try bowling."

Bowling sounds good... no real athleticism involved. My kind of game.

Turns out, I haven't bowled in about 15 years and this appears to be the equivalent of 20 deep lunges per game. Four games later and I am begging for a wheelchair and a morphine drip. I don't remember bowling being this strenuous.

This is all from a regular Wii, not Wii Fit.

Baseball worked out my arms... bowling worked out my thighs... I wonder if Wii has something for the midsection?

Better yet, do they make a Wii crossword?

The Face(s) of Success

I am not naive. I know how the real world works; I just never lowered myself to that standard. I guess I have come, once again, to that crossroad, the time to make a decision about myself, my work and my ethics. 

This is not hard for me. I am forty years old and never once have I wavered on certain things. I do not go to work to be popular, and ambition is a younger man's game. I try to stay within the guidelines of the company I work for - which can be hard when they are ever-changing. I do not brown-nose or suck up. I speak my mind no matter who it offends. I do not say anything privately that I would not say publicly and most importantly. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

One of the lowest forms of life has two faces. It is the most vile and disgusting creature that slithers across the planet. It is not very smart but it is cunning. It has long been my belief that these filthy critters were ephemeral, flitting in and out of the periphery of life and finally dying slow and lonely deaths. I was wrong.

I have found an environment where this duplicitous beast not only lives, but thrives. It feeds on the souls of hard-working and honest people. It literally sucks the life out of them. I have survived, only barely, for almost five years by moving around a lot and trying to keep my head down. No more. I am done. The carnage is disturbing. The stench is overwhelming. 

I have watched as many have fallen prey to it and even seen a few escape. I have seen the pack circling a victim, waiting for the mistake that will bring it down. I have felt the cold eyes of the pack on me once or twice. It is an eerie feeling. I learned when and where I could go and I knew the most vicious three by site, friendly looking creatures with a dark side and fangs like razors. 

As I mentioned, I am forty and very little surprises me, but today, I learned of the worst of these creatures, the sneakiest. Today, the Alpha Bitch (female of the species) revealed herself. She is the most dangerous and the most cunning. She seems the friendliest and most unassuming, like a dumb as bricks hound dog. Not so. In this jungle, there is no king. The lion doesn't stand a chance. This jungle is ruled by one queen, two princesses and several ladies-in-waiting.

I know when I am beaten. I know when to say when. I may not go quietly but I know when to go. If you listen closely you can hear the fat lady singing.

Resistance is Futile

I guess it truly is inevitable. One day, we all wake up, look in the mirror and see our parents...

I grew up in a single parent home and while I was certainly aware of the difference (back then, most of my friends had two parents living at home), I never felt as if I were missing anything important. I never felt deprived or underprivileged, neglected or abused. I knew that we didn't have everything that we wanted and that my mother struggled constantly to make ends meet but we had everything we needed. There was never a time when we were hungry or cold or naked. 

My father's contribution, beyond the initial biological donation, was mostly empty promises. I suppose, on some level, as a child, I hoped for more occasionally; but by the time I was a teenager and working, and as I became more aware of the tenuous balancing act that my mother had been performing for my whole life -- as I began to understand the sacrifices she had made over and over again to keep from having to always say no, hope became resentment tinged with anger. 

I am not angry anymore, truly. I rarely give him a thought. Why would I? Still, once in a while, someone (usually someone who doesn't know me well), will remark how much I look like him, or worse, I will catch myself doing or saying something and realize that despite my best efforts, he has still emerged. In those instances, I feel that familiar resentment and anger. He doesn't deserve the legacy, even if I am the end of the line. More importantly, I promised myself thirty years ago that I would never be like him. I vowed that when I married, it would be forever. OK, so I was a bit naive. I was a kid. Love and forever still seemed like real concepts. Of course, so did Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. 

As it turns out, I was divorced before I turned twenty-one. Luckily, I was smart enough never to have kids of my own. I'll give a little bit of the credit for that to the guy who shares my last name. I did raise two great kids, though I had little to do with it. In the end, I was just as absent as my own father, even though I lived in the same house. At least, he could claim the 'out of state, 700 miles away defense'. I just worked a hundred hours a week.

I don't hate him or wish him ill, but I do find it almost inconceivable and rather disturbing that despite the minuscule amount of time that I spent with my father, the resemblance is still obvious, even to the very few who know both of us. --  

 It is much easier to become a father than to be one.

 ~ Kent Nerburn, Letters to My Son: Reflections on Becoming a Man, 1994

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A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away. 
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."

My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's OK."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon. 
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then." 

Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."

- - - - -  

• Song Lyrics: "Cats In The Cradle"
  
• Recorded by: "Harry Chapin"
  
• Written by: (Sandy Chapin, Harry Chapin)
  
• Album: "Verities & Balderdash" - 1974
  

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Michael and Elizabeth, I apologize -- for everything and I love you.